In total I was sick for 2 weeks. Thats a long time to be sick, and also a record for how long I have every been sick in my life. The first week of being sick was definitely the hardest. After going to the hospital and receiving treatment I went back to the base and the next couple of days were tough. I felt the same for the next 5 days there was no change, I was still struggling to breath and my chest started to hurt more each day. This led to me going to the hospital a second time on Monday of the second week of being sick. I received the same responses from these doctors, they didn’t understand why I was having chest pains and struggling to breath still even though all my vitals, X-rays and blood work were clean. To be honest, I was asking myself the same question. I was asking the Lord everyday why I wasn’t being healed. I knew he was fully capable of healing me instantly but that wasn’t His plan. Thankfully after receiving multiple new prescriptions I started to feel a difference, my body was soon able to start healing and repairing itself. 

If you’re wondering what I did for the two weeks of no ministry and barely able to attending squad and team gatherings, well I will tell you not much. 

What I did do was sleep haha, probably 18/24 hours of the day. I ate meals when I could but even that was not enjoyable because of my nausea. Despite all of this, I was able to read my bible every time I woke up. I would wake up wanting to not sleep for a bit and find myself digging into the Word.

Here comes the cool part..

With each day I would wake up feeling horrible, barely having any energy, and not wanting to do anything besides read my bible. I realized I was reading my bible more and more because I was able to only focus on the words, I would forget that I was having to work harder to breath or that I was extremely drowsy most the time, or even that I was sick. God met me in His word. I was comforted that I had something so tangible to grab a hold of and receive the satisfaction and fullness of God while my body felt like it was falling apart. My flesh was hurting and suffering but my spirit was thriving, I would read and feel restored knowing that this moment in time of being sick would surely pass. 

I thanked the Lord that He took advantage of the time I was sick and poured his love over me. Many mornings (or afternoons, whenever I woke up lol), i was able to just sit and spend time with Him. I was able to step into a new depth of intimacy with Him in listening prayer, just asking and saying what was on my mind, and hearing the truth and love was his response. He renewed my mind in ways that I didn’t even know were possible, I just thought it was something that I would deal with but that’s not what God sees. He sees room for him to come and restore with the righteousness of Christ, His true character given to us as an inheritance. 

Here comes the not so great part..

I will be honest because sharing the hard things is necessary and so good for our minds and our heart, surrendering the weight that we accumulate. 

With that, I had to be honest with myself that I was walking through some hard spiritual warfare in that time. I experienced a level of isolation and loneliness that hurt and brought me to tears many days. I am a person that loves being with others, especially when I have been living with a squad of 23 other people for the past two almost three months. I would cry out to God asking Him why I was still sick, why I couldn’t go to ministry, I missed my One Way friends so much and I wanted to spend my last month of Guatemala intentionally with them and pouring into ministry as much as I could.  I wanted to continuing growing in obedience and trust in every aspect of my life here in Guatemala. I watched my team come and go to ministry for 10 days. I heard my squad worship and fellowship together while I sat in a room by myself struggling to breath even though I was doing nothing. 

In those moments of loneliness I felt Jesus sitting beside me saying “its okay”. I would breath in His peace and rest and breath out the sadness and frustration. 

Patience.

Patience to wait for anything, whether it’s healing or a blessing or just a the next step, its spiritual endurance. I thank God the for the patience and endurance to walk through something in the flesh but receive abundance in the spirit. 

Thank you to all who have prayed and interceded for me while I was sick. I am not sick anymore, Praise God!

I was able to enjoy my last week of ministry before starting debrief to prepare to leave for Costa Rica.

-Kayci S.